Veggie Wars

Twelve months ago this intrepid reporter went undercover to investigate the “seedy” underbelly of the vegetarian movement. At great risk to myself, I might add. I dread to think what the veg-heads might have done to me had my real identity as a carnivorous cowboy been discovered. I visited carrot chat rooms, shopped at “Veggies for Less” and “Tofu Are Us” stores, and gagged down vegetarian lasagna, tofu turkey and eggplant meat loaf at vegetarian restaurants, just to bring you this exclusive story.… Read the rest

Cattle Drive.

I dont get it: cattlemen couples spend 51 weeks a year slaving away on the ranch and what do they do for their one week of vacation per year?

 They go on a ranch tour, of course! Talk about a busman’s holiday.

Ah, there’s nothing like a tour of other ranches to get away from it all. I don’t know why ranch couples do this. Do they ride the chuck line, seeing the country through the window of a bus and eating one beef barbecue after another at ranches that would appear to be very much like their own, just to see how the other half lives?… Read the rest

No-till Housekeeping.

Just because I wrote a column idea in the dust on a piece of furniture because I didn’t have a pencil and paper handy, my wife thought I was making a critical comment about her housekeeping. “If you don’t like the way I clean house,” she said, “you can just start doing it yourself.”

I don’t know why women complain so much about cleaning the house. They get to work in comfortable mud-free conditions in which there are no snakes or flies, in most cases.… Read the rest